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Today’s post is a guest post from Fiona at MissPennyMoney.com
It’s all too familiar. Thoughts and feelings of not being good enough. Imposter syndrome. Unworthiness. Low self-esteem.
But, at the end of the day, it all boils down to your own self-worth and how you see yourself.
To be honest, you probably don’t even realise it’s happening.
And then you wonder why you never seem to make a success of anything.
I’ll let you into a little secret: it’s the inner dialogue of your mind that’s causing the problem.
You start something, full of excitement and enthusiasm, and then your inner voice pipes up.
Before you know it, it’s all over.
I’m Not Worthy
How many times do you look at ways to earn extra money, then tell yourself that there’s no point in trying, because it just won’t work out?
That you see a job which you want to apply for, but decide that everyone else will be better than you so you’re not even going to bother? There’s just too much competition. So, it’s futile, right?
You’re already planting the seed in your mind that you’re not worthy.
So, you stick to what you believe is your level of worth — your comfort zone — and don’t make the progress you want.
How Much Do You Think You Are Worth?
When you apply for low-paying jobs, you’re effectively telling yourself and the rest of the world that you’re worth very little.
That you’ll only be able to get those low-paying jobs, because you don’t have the skills to do anything else. (By the way, who told you that? Is it true? Or is it just what you believe?)
You don’t feel worthy of charging a reasonable rate for your services or asking for a pay rise.
After all, what if they find out you’re a fraud? (You’re not.)
The thought of ‘putting yourself out there’ fills you with terror. Fear controls you, so it’s easier to just stay put in your own comfort zone, right?
It’s All in Your Mind
In fact, each thought you have is controlling your future.
Why? Because your thoughts become your feelings, and your feelings control your actions.
Here’s an example of how my thoughts controlled my actions and changed the course of my life path.
Here’s a Little Story
Years ago, at 19 years old, I’d just come out of a really long and somewhat limiting relationship (he’d wanted to settle down, and I wanted to travel and see the world).
My life had been too samey for so long, and I craved independence and excitement. So, I answered an ad in a newspaper to be a holiday rep for Thomas Cook.
A day or two later, I received a phone call in response to my application, and we had a short telephone interview to go over a few questions.
Next, I got invited along to a Holiday Inn in my local town centre, where I was to stand up in front of a crowd of people and tell an entertaining story in order to secure my place.
I decided on my subject, wrote some notes, and even practised in front of the mirror.
When the day arrived, I drove to the hotel, walked inside, stood in the foyer in front of the room I needed to enter to deliver my presentation, and I froze.
The door was already closed. I was late.
Everyone would stare at me. I wouldn’t be able to speak. I’d go bright red and forget my words.
All I’d be able to think of was that my face was the colour of cooked beetroot.
They’d all judge me, and I’d be forever known as the girl who went bright red and got tongue-tied.
And after all that humiliation, I’d lose the chance to get the job. Which would be just as well, really.
If I couldn’t stand in front of a room of people, what chance did I have standing on a bus or in a room, in front of a load of holidaymakers who were counting on me to give them all the information then needed?
This inner dialogue happened in mere seconds. So, I turned on my heel and walked out of there and changed the path of my entire future.
Had I told myself I could do this, that I was confident and that this was meant to be, I would have had the conviction to go in there, get up on that stage, deliver my speech, and get the job.
I’d have had the experience and bolstered my own confidence. I’d have mastered something so many people struggle with; public speaking.
I always think of how I let my thoughts and feelings take over that day, and how things turned out so differently.
I let my thoughts and fear control my actions. I’d already decided I wasn’t good enough.
But what if I’d believed I was good enough? How different would my life be then?
You Have the Power to Change Your Circumstances
The following quote from Margaret Thatcher packs a punch.
The words are very powerful, and true. What you think comes about, because what you think affects your behaviour.
So, next time you aren’t making progress, ask yourself, is it a lack of self-worth?
Are you letting your lack of self-worth sabotage your success?
“Watch your thoughts, for they will become actions. Watch your actions, for they’ll become… habits. Watch your habits for they will forge your character. Watch your character, for it will make your destiny.” ― Margaret Thatcher
Only you have the power to change your future, by changing the way you think.
Whether that be to get out of debt, stop overspending, or finally land work that pays you what you’re worth.
Change your thoughts now and change your future.
Fiona Chapman is a copywriter, and the founder of personal finance and lifestyle website MissPennyMoney.com. Her aim is to empower women to take control of their finances, believe in themselves and achieve success in who they really want to be.